The slothful shopper

A chap called to ask if C&P sold joke books and, if so, which ones we had in stock. Judging by the tone of voice, the customer was clearly young and able; by the latter I mean not physically incapacitated or stuck under heavy machinery. This kind of lazy, 'general enquiry' armchair shopping really incenses me.

I know we inhabit a virtual 'I expect, therefore I get' world now, and I'm not going to hark on about how much harder we had it in the old days, or give you a parable on how my granny had to walk 5 miles to school with no shoes on etc. That was my dad in fact anyway. I just want to point out that the average westerner could easily hole themselves up for eons without any need to approach their front door other than to sign for that online Asda shop. How can this be a good thing, 'force majeure' scenario aside?

And rather than amble out for a browse around the shops on a global warmingly kind of mild October Saturday afternoon, I'd hazard a guess at one in three of us having degenerated to this level of person, whose main aim it is to get someone to do all their footwork for them and come up with that perfect gift idea. Sorted. Do a quick google search on the subject in advance of the call since I'm on Bebo anyway? You kidding? Maybe I'm being unduly harsh. Perhaps he is an 'rsi' sufferer and not just bone idle.

So, hurrah to all the active customers, those who stretch their limbs through the doors of shops here, there and everywhere with their requests - some specific, some vague. But at least they bothered to break the armchair generation mould for an hour or two and be vague in person. Obviously, this particular cross section of customer can present its own problems too, but that topic's for another diatribe. Hurrah again!

On a final note, my joker obviously hasn't yet had their bank outsource all customer service queries to Bangalore like mine. Otherwise clearly they would never ever put a phone call in to another supplier again.

Someone needs help

The following e-mail arrived today...

I know this is going to sound really strange, but I'm really hoping that you
may be able to help me. My sister and I visited London back in April. We
live in the USA. Anyway, we saw posters in all of the tube stations
advertising a new novel. We didn't want to buy it at the time, because we
didn't have any room in our luggage, but figured we'd buy it when we got
back home. Neither one of us wrote down the name of the book, and we can't
remember what it was! It was a mystery/thriller type novel. Do you know of
any place where I might be able to get a list of novels that were published
back around that time so that I could perhaps recognize the title?
I'd really appreciate any help you could give me!
Thanks very much.


any ideas?

John - We've sold out...

taking the stairs has gone from our table...

John, you phoned our Fulham Road shop this morning and spoke with Jane.

We need more copies for both shops!

Give me a ring today on 020 7928 0234 or I will be way out West tomorrow on 020 7351 3468

To Queen or not to Queen

Customer No 1:

(Age approx 60 - Dressed in multi-coloured clothing.)

"The Queen? Pah, I'll not buy any book associated with the Queen. I'm the only Queen around here! Hah Hah!."

Customer No 2:

(American accent, maybe 25, Dressed - in a manner appropriate for the fashion magazine reading youth of today)

"Oh...interesting."

Me: (Age approx 23 - ok ok ok 34ish - Dressed - Brown shirt, green trousers, black jumper - a MESS OK?)

"Any strong opinions about the queen?"

Customer number 2:

"They told me before I came here if I said anything bad about the Queen the people would kill me."

Me: "I have a soft spot for her really. She reminds me of my Granny."

John Stiles Sales Sensation!

We have now sold two copies - count them - that's TWO (2) copies of the excellent taking the stairs by the soon to be super star author John Stiles from our Lower Marsh shop.

John if you are reading this, or if someone you know reads this (does anybody still read this?) then can we have some more? I need a stack to make a splash in our Chelsea shop.

Man, I am going to recommend your book.

I am going to press it into the gold and diamond dusted hands of the rich and famous.

I am going to persuade hopeless and homeless drink and drug addicts and ex-lepers (bloody Jesus!) to spend their hard begged cash on your book.

I sincerely hope my rabid enthusiasm does not administer the last kicks that put your literary career into a coma.

We've had a couple of hits over the years...

The Journey of an Award-winning Novel

The progress of “What Was Lost” has been incredible to watch. For a small, independently published, debut novel to be nominated for most of the major prizes is phenomenal. I was reading on Eve’s Alexandria about the journey the book had undertaken with the support of Crockatt and Powell and the blogosphere. Could you tell us a bit more about how that all happened (and big up book blogs a bit for us too while you are at it!).

My agent, Lucy Luck, deserves full credit for Crockatt and Powell’s early involvement with the book. She recommended the bookshop as the venue for the London launch and I’m so glad that she did. I was fairly terrified at the prospect of a London launch, and the image I had of independent booksellers (sadly having virtually no models in Birmingham on which to base my preconceptions) only added to the terror. I’m not sure what I had in mind, but Rex Harrison in My Fair Lady was somewhere in the mix. Instead I found Matthew and Adam who wanted to talk about the Stone Roses and share customer anecdotes.

Their support and enthusiasm for the book from that early stage was amazing. They run a great bookshop. They love books and can talk about them with love but without pretension and they are more interested in serving their customers than the empty gestures of ‘customer service’. Because of these things, people respect their opinions. Through the C and P blog, through word of mouth and other mysterious means other excellent booksellers like Wenlock Books and The Bookseller Crow on the Hill picked up on the book, as of course did literary blogs.

Everyone knows how easy it is for a book to sink without trace if it doesn’t have a big marketing budget behind it or if it fails to make the chain store promotions. Literary bloggers who seek out books, who see beyond the big promotions and who can then write clearly and honestly about those books and enthuse other readers about them are a powerful antidote to that. I sense I’m preaching to the converted here, but as Chuck D once said (it’s possible he wasn’t writing about independent booksellers and literary blogs - but I’m sure he’d extend the sentiment): ‘we got to fight the powers that be’.

The Revolution has Started - and this time in Crystal Palace!

Genius this way.

How NOT to get your husband's book into Crockatt & Powell...

A lady comes in and asks for a book.

We do not have it.

She asks if she can order a copy and I say "yes".

The book arrives and we keep it aside for the nice lady.

The nice lady comes in.

Turns out she does not want to buy the book after all. No. Her husband wrote it.

Hmmm.

Does this strike you as the best way to get a book into bookshops? Deception? Why not just be up front? Or maybe, just maybe, the book is a pile of &*&£

Loopy Lulu

Bob Young, Lulu founder and CEO, said, "With the credit and capital markets frozen solid Lulu couldn't continue burning through money at its previous pace. We're very disappointed."

I bet you are mate!

Burning through money? Chance would be a fine thing...

And the Nobel Prize for Literature goes to...er...who?

I loved what the Swedes said about Europe being the "centre of the literary world" after having a go at American writers for only being concerned with American things. (Astounding how stupid people who consider themselves to be intelligent can be eh?)

What about all those excellent writers who are of African origin? For a start...

Ah well, we'll have to wait for some brave publisher in the UK/US to pay for Jean-Marie Gustave Le Clezio's books to be translated into English before I'm able to comment on the pros/cons of their choice.

Is that the first book on sheep you have sold?

Y

E

S

PS If you click on the picture you get to see all the guts and stuff and the little sheepy stomach mashing loads of tasty grass.

PPS No sheep were disemboweled during the construction of this blog.

Taking the Stairs by John Stiles

I hesitate to blog about this for fear of being inundated with shite books but...

...one day a few weeks ago a man came into the shop. His name was John. John Stiles. And he wondered if we might like to take a few copies of his novel Taking The Stairs.

I had met John before and recognised a kindred spirit. (He loves writing. A bit too much. A book nut - prepared to go way too far in the pursuit of literary dreams.)

Know what? I read taking the stairs and loved it. I laughed out loud. The dialogue snaps. The observations are spot on.

I fear it will not sell in large quantities but why not try and prove me wrong? Go into your local (bookshop) and demand a copy. If the geeks say it does not exist then give us a ring and I'll send you a copy.

Stefan Zweig + Richard Strauss = Literary and Musical Ecstacy

At present I am reading Stefan Zweig's novel The Post Office Girl. (I was told that the only novel Zweig produced was Beware of Pity but no, The Post Office Girl is certainly a novel.) Weirdly it has only just been translated into English and is available as part of the excellent New York Review of Books classics series.

Zweig wrote at least one libretto for his friend Richard Strauss and so Strauss seemed good background listening for the minute. A quick trip to Gramex (another quirky but excellent shop on Lower Marsh) and I was the proud owner of several Strauss records.

Stefan Zweig killed himself in a suicide pact with his wife in Brazil. He was in despair, sure that the Nazis were the first stage of the death of the European culture he had dedicated his life to enriching.

Maybe Zweig might have smiled to see me sitting in my favourite green leather arm chair; reading The Post Office Girl, drinking espressos and listening to Strauss's Thus Spoke Zarathustra...

PS Don't spoil it by bringing up 2001 eh!

Don't ask, don't tell

Waterloo - 06/10/08 - 11.34pm

Lower Marsh - 08/10/08 - 14.34pm

And the Winner of the Crockatt & Powell Price Gun Challange is...

ME me ME me ME me ME

! ! !

And I'm pretty excited about it too. I knew I was good for something!

I took it downstairs to the cellar. Look mate, I said, you'd better just start behaving yourself you plastic piece of dirt. You can spin me that line about you being the crust on his uppers all day long - I ain't fooled.

Oh yes, I put the Derek Raymond frighteners on that price gun alright. A real Lower Marsh tirade with all the gestures and knuckle flexing and cockney accent and IT WORKED.

Now he's spitting priced pieces of paper for all he's worth. He's been lazing about so long there's plenty of cards and books from America that need their prices stuck on 'em.

Tetchy

Obviously I had to stay up and watch the Presidential debate last night. Hard to watch with fresh, unbiased eyes from someone so obviously biased but I'd call it a draw which means an Obama victory. He just seemed more 'Presidential', composed and thoughtful. McCain's the guy in the room to stir things up, a real General Turgidson sitting there saying we need to bomb Iran before they get the doomsday machine. You need those guys, you need the extremes to carefully consider every point of view before acting but would you put one in charge? No freakin way!

Anyways, because of those pesky time difference shenanigans (if the Earth was flat would there be any time diffence?) I didn't make it to bed until half 4 and as I'm working today let's just say, I've felt better...

...must remember to be nice to the customers, patience boy, patience...

Dr Rick Wants a Book? For his Wife?

At Crockatt & Powell we pride ourselves on our insane devotion to - you!

Well put it this way, if you love us, we love you - more!

Wednesday was my "day off". That means my body was up early and taking Finn to nursery before the rest of me was aware what day it was. I dropped him off and he ran for the toys right away. "Bye!" I said, but he was gawn into kiddie land. Then I hot foot it to the bookshop which is closed at this point, since it is still really early. After letting myself in and dumping the buggy in our back room I leg it down the street with a box full of bags for the Fulham Road shop to catch a bus home. Whilst sitting on the bus I take advantage of a rare few moments to finish Pollard by Laura Beatty and decide it is a rather excellent book. I re-read the end and it gets better.

At home I change into my bike gear then jump on the trusty Zip 50 scooter with the box of bags. As I speed along it begins to rain and I decide today is the day I will finally get round to buying a proper wet-weather jacket. By the time I arrive at the Fulham Road shop I am definitely damp. I hand over the bags to Stuart and pick up the books I need, then it's back on the bike to Lower Marsh.

I arrive on the Marsh and stride into the shop, all biked up. Dr Rick is there dissecting the economic state of things with another Dr (let's call her "S") who is clutching her little lad - a mate of Finn's as it happens. I hand the good doctor the book he needs whilst singing "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" then leave again to park properly.

I return to find Adam attempting to fix Dr Rick's laptop. He fails. But at least he tried.

After a brief encounter with an awkward member of the private army Lambeth Council have hired to try and destroy us I leave the shop and start my day off. It's almost lunchtime by then...

Poem for the day from "our" Manny

My ears pricked up earlier as, in stark contrast to the usual patter about what vegies are in season or which horses to back, I heard Manny reciting poetry. Blimey. I wandered to the door and gave him a little round of applause for his efforts.

A little Keats anyone?


To autumn

Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness,
Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun;
Conspiring with him how to load and bless
With fruic the vines that round the thatch-eves run;
To bend with apples the moss'd cottage-trees,
And fill all fruit with ripeness to the core;
To swell the gourd, and plump the hazel shell»
With a sweet kernel; to set budding more,
And still more, later flowers for the bees,
Until they think warm days will never cease,
For Summer has o'erbrimmed their clammy cells.

Who hath not seen thee oft amid thy store?
Sometimes whoever seeks abroad may find
Thee sitting careless on a granary floor,
Thy hair soft-lifted by the winnowing wind;
Or on a half-reap'd furrow sound asleep,
Drows'd with the fume of poppies, while thy hook
Spares the next swath and all its twined flowers;
And sometimes like a gleaner thou dost brook;
Steady thy laden head across a brook;
Or by a cider-press, with patient look,
Thou watchest the last oozings hours by hours.

Where are the songs of Spring ? Ay, where are they?
Think not of them, thou hast thy music too, -
While barred clouds bloom the soft-dying day,
And touch the stubble-plains with rosy hue;
Then in a wailful choir the small gnats mourn
Among the river sallows, borne aloft
Or sinking as the light wind lives or dies;
And full-grown lambs loud bleat from hilly bourn;
Hedge-crickets sing, and now with treble soft
The red-breast whistles from a garden-croft;
And gathering swallows twitter in the skies.

Something for the Weekend

I think I kind of like this album.

I know I like a lot of Brian Eno's music and we used to listen to David Byrne's online radio show in the shop all the time - he always seemed to have interesting taste in music.

Anyway, this new album is here for free. You can buy it if you want.

Holiday Reading, Slight Return

That holiday seems a long time ago now.

The Bookshop by Penelope Fitzgerald I found simply wonderful.

From the opening meeting with the bank manager - "...I would like to put a point, Mrs Green, which in all probability has not occurred to you, and yet which is so plain to those of us who are in a position to take the broader view. My point is this. If over any given period of time the cash inflow cannot meet the cash outflow, it is safe to predict that money difficulties are not far away." - to the final paragraph - "As the train drew out of the station she sat with her head bowed in shame, because the town in which she had lived for nearly ten years had not wanted a bookshop." - it is a beautifully observed and written homage to the madness that drives people to run bookshops.

Next I devoured The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson. I loved it. Not only was I caught up in the plot but this is a crime novel that really makes you care about the characters. I found the details of Swedish life weirdly enthralling. In many ways Larsson has written a classic, Agatha Christie style, mystery but then spiced it up with sex and violence. Great stuff. Next in the trilogy comes out in January.



The final book on my holiday list was Pollard by Laura Beatty. I started off loving it and have had moments of loving it since. But is is very weird and, since I find myself in an odd state of mind at present, reading about a bag lady living in a hut in the woods means I keep wondering which of us (myself or the narrator Anne) is losing their marbles. If I had to make a comparison it might be with The Short Day Dying by Pete Hobbs - another brilliant book, poetic, moving, earthy - that is destined to sell a minute number of copies. Maybe fans of John Cowper Powys would enjoy Pollard? Maybe.

I am very much expecting Sebastian Barry to win the Booker prize btw. More on that later...

Ah, that's better...

It's been a slings and arrows kind of a week. Nuff said.

I woke up this morning feeling absolutely sh*t but slowly things have improved.

First off, the sun was shining.

Then, after an unusually tempestuous display from Finn he calmed down and was lovely on the bus. I left him at nursery looking all cheery as little people admired his dinosaur shirt.

Then as I walked along the South Bank to the Lower Marsh shop I bumped into my brother Colin. Just like that. He's popping by later after work.

The sun shone more. I sold some books.

Catherine O'Flynn's chap came in for a good chinwag. Brilliant to hear of all her success in 20 countries.

"F" ambled into the shop with a couple of Portuguese custard tarts. My favourite "F". I ask again - what did I ever do to deserve such gifts?

Then Alberto Manguel asked if it was ok if he linked to our website. Ok? We are honoured Alberto!

Then I went to Marsh Ruby for a curry. I was feeling rough. Like I might vomit any moment. But I held on and ate the lot with extra chillies. Now I feel fine. Ingrid hastled me about not blowing our own trumpet enough.

Next Sandi Toksvig popped in and called me "love" which I loved. She agreed it was a lovely sunny day and "perfect for a walk".

To top off a great day I realised that Late Junction has a Brian Eno special on the BBC I-Player.

David Foster Wallace - RIP

Sad news...

The C & P Price Gun Challange - Win a £10 C & P Gift Token

There a comes a point in every man's life when you just have to take it on the chin and admit defeat.

We have a price gun.

In fact we have two price guns but the one in the new shop is easy to load. No problem. We still have the instructions.

The trouble starts on Lower Marsh. There we have a different price gun and no instructions. I have a difficult relationship with instructions. (We have a box of broken stuff as proof.) I probably threw them away.

We have been trying to load some stickers into it for about two months now.

If you can do it we will give you a £10 voucher on the spot. But I bet you will fail...

Maureen Duffy - We Salute You!

Crockatt & Powell were thrilled to launch Maureen Duffy's 30th publication in the Fulham Road shop last night.

Family Values is a collection of poems.

I feel it is sometimes easy to be hard on poetry and poets. There are way more bad poets than good poets (myself included!) and enough bad poetry in the world to fill all the remaining landfill space globally. But you know the good stuff when you find it don't you? And this is the goooood stuff.

Enitharmon have produced a beautiful book for a writer who deserves the very best.

Maureen was brilliant. I'll stop gushing now. It only remains for me to pose this question.

What is the collective noun for poets? (Let's just say there were quite a few in the shop. And also quite a few broken glasses...)

Thought for the Day

Pre-Game Coin Toss Makes Jacksonville Jaguars Realize Randomness Of Life

Just the thing!

Crockatt & Powell Ltd,

There are still a few places available on the Introduction to Bookselling Course on Monday 6th October.

About the Course

This course is designed to provide a thorough grounding in every aspect of bookselling.

Who Should Attend?

• New Booksellers who have recently set up in business
  

• Anyone considering opening a bookshop
  

• Experienced Booksellers who want to reacquaint themselves with the key elements of bookselling
  

• New or Experienced Members of Staff 
  

What You’ll Learn

• How to create and maintain a robust business
  

• A practical understanding of bookshop finances
  
  
• Managing the day to day tasks of running bookshop
  

• Increasing customer loyalty
  

The course will look in detail at the essential elements that go to make a profitable retail business including profit & loss and stock control, and , of course, the product itself.

It will also look at resources available to booksellers, and look at the key events that make up a professional bookseller’s life.

Running your bookshop with passion and making sure customers come back to you time and again is vital to the success of your business. You will find out how to make your shop a part of your community and a unique and desirable destination.

And this is also a valuable opportunity to network with other booksellers and to benefit from the experience of one of the UK’s most successful booksellers!

Course Tutor
Your tutor for this course is the highly-respected, experienced and award-winning bookseller, ***************************

Places on this course are just £195.00 + VAT (£229.12) each. This includes lunch and a free copy of the BA’s Complete Guide to Starting & Running a Bookshop normally priced at £28.00.

HOW MUCH?!

Nah, F*** it, we'll just carry on in our own muddle-headed way

Post Modern?

We received a letter in the post this morning from a gentleman in Swansea with two cuttings enclosed.

Dear Sirs,

Enclosed are Two Cuttings of books I'm looking for.

Can you help with this request, if so Please find enclosed a S.A.E for your reply also Charges etc.

If you're unable to assist Could you Please forward the Cuttings back.

Sincere Thanks

Blimey. That hasn't happened before...

I am in the process of composing our response. Both books are available. We shall see how the relationship develops.

BTW I am in no way intending this as a mick-take post. I think it's great that snail mail might be used for such things. I also feel pretty sure this is not a gentleman likely to be using the internet much. Maybe I'm wrong. But I don't think so!

Sign o' the times

It's only coming up to 3 o'clock but there's already been 4 people in asking if we buy books.

Normally we get 4 people every couple of weeks asking similar.

I bet they don't get the same at the other shop though...

By Royal Command

There are 2000 Signed Copies of the new Young Bond novel.

We've got 20 of them.

Out from tomorrow, reserve your copy here!

This is Vishnu!

And he is Blue! (Just like Man City)

The Creator and Destroyer of all Existences!

My reflection is captured in the picture, in the picture.

We are as one!

Nice...

Bullard for England

Well done Jimmy!

This picture was taken in the downstairs of a pub just before Bullard came back from his awful knee injury. I am the one with the red eye on the right. It was my mate's birthday and that's why he's getting a hug.

What can I say? Bullard kept us up last season and is a real "old skool" footballer (see haircut!)

He is also a top bloke. Not only did he agree to pose for pics with the "Sombrero Crew" (don't ask) he phoned my wife on another occasion to promise he was staying at Fulham.

I hope he gets a game for England. If he does, I predict nothing less than 100% from one of the few Premiership players to still have his feet on the ground.

Holiday Reading or an Escape Route from the Tyranny of Choice...

As I walked in this morning I turned to the vexed question of what to read on holiday.

First on the list was The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson - the latest greatest Scandinavian crime writer. Fulham Road Claire said this was the book she enjoyed most on her holidays and I have heard and read many other good things about it. One down.

Then I thought I'd try Pollard by Laura Beatty. Fulham Road Jane said this was fantastic (has to be a good sign when a bookshop owner is taking book recommendations from his staff eh?) It is about a lady who goes off to live in the woods.

Last of all I thought I would take The Bookshop by Penelope Fitzgerald. I have avoided reading this for bloomin ages now, knowing that the bookshop involved does not have a happy ending. Maybe I've grown up or something? (Maybe not) But I felt it was time to face it.

A few paces later, having admired a Buddleia growing amongst a cluster of cans of special brew, I realised I was drifting into a mistake. Choosing holiday reading like this is bound to fail. I'm not on holiday yet and so my mood and mind are centred on work stuff. The Bookshop was obviously chosen because I feel close to the central situation of the novel. But in Cornwall I won't be thinking much about bookshops. (I hope) Similarly Pollard taps into my "I need a holiday" feeling that has most of me screaming "Run to the woods and hide!" (A similar mood has me hanging around the compost heap at the bottom of the garden)

All the best holiday books I remember reading are ones I didn't choose myself but just sort of came across whilst away. I remember reading Red Dragon by Thomas Harris one summer and being totally terrified. Similarly JG Ballard's The Unlimited Dream Company took my brain to pieces and put it back together again after I casually picked it off a dusty farmhouse shelf. John Gray's Straw Dogs started an argument that lasted most of a holiday.

But how do you choose without choosing?

I walked onward. My head was starting to overheat in the morning sun - crazy weather or what? - so I took it off and put it in my jacket pocket. (The hat, not my head)

I remembered Dr Rick telling me about Robert Frost's great poem The Road Not Taken. It is regularly polled as the nation's favourite poem in the United States - a country that LOVES to choose. And yet Dr Rick reckons (and Dr Rick is always right people!) that the last line is in fact a joke.

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Choosing one road or the other has in fact ended up making very little difference. The act of choosing, the illusion it gives us of control, is elevated to absurd heights. What I choose to read on holiday will make very little difference. There is no perfect book list for me. I will just choose three and I might like them or I might not. The probability is that I will find something else whilst I'm away and love reading that. After all if past form is anything to go by I'm better off leaving the choosing to chance...

I still feel that there are certain books that call to you though and I will probably take the three mentioned above.

To Be Continued...

"It"

What is "it"?

Finn's nursery was closed for a few hours the other day so I had to look after him in the shop for a while. As soon as he'd finished dusting we sat down and read some books.

One of the books he chose was called Lost and Found by a bloke called Oliver Jeffers. The story involved a boy finding a Penguin on his doorstep. He assumes the Penguin is lost and sets out to row him back to the South Pole. They make it but it turns out the Penguin wasn't lost after all - he was lonely. There is a happy ending. I thought it might be a bit long for him at first but he sat there quietly enough. We went on to read a couple of other books and I thought nothing more of it.

The next morning I could hear Finn singing in his cot. I went into his room and he was singing row row row your boat and clutching the cuddly Penguin he got from London Zoo. Blimey.

I bought the book next day and now it's a firm favourite.

This Oliver Jeffers bloke must have something special I thought. I looked into the matter and discovered he's the chap behind The Incredible Book Eating Boy and How To Catch A Star. He's won many prizes. Then I dimly remembered a rep talking about The Incredible Book Eating Boy with great enthusiasm. Maybe I should have listened...But then publishers are always banging on about how great books are, books that soon show their true colours by not selling anywhere near as strongly as expected.

My point? Oliver Jeffers has "it".

But what is "it"? That's just one of those questions really. What makes one thing art and another dross? What is the thing that makes you love that person? Why FFC?

I suppose that's the human condition. We all want "it" without having the slightest idea what "it" is. And then advanced capitalism lets rip with the whole creation of desire/commodity ting and makes money out of our desperate need for "it" by pretending to have discovered what "it" is and selling it to us...

Patent Leather Moleskine anyone?

Exclusive to Crockatt & Powell *

We are very pleased to be selling a range of Moleskine 2009 Diaries.

They are covered in Italian patent leather (shiny).

They are red.

Or black.

There are day per page or week per page.

That means there are four kinds.

THERE ARE ONLY 300 OF EACH KIND AVAILABLE IN THE ENTIRE UK.

If you want an extra special pressie for someone then get in touch quick as these really are super limited.

Beauty and style come at a price - pocket daily £38 - pocket weekly £35.

Buy from here.

*Ok, not completely exclusive. But certainly very hard to find...

Head. Nail. Hit

Seth Godin gets it right again.

Been thinking the same thoughts as I've been re-doing all this website and blog shenanigans. What is it we do? What is the website for? The Blog? We are Booksellers, we sell books. In a shop, a real live shop. We're not html whizzes and we haven't got the cash to pay the real whizzes to do it for us. The websites should be a reflection of the DIY ethic at C&P towers but not even attempting to be too slick because to be honest we're just not even approaching the foothills of slick.

I like to think on Seth's twin bell-curve we're just about half-way up 'Real'. But then I've never been to good at self-evaluation. I'll settle for competent. That'll do me fine...

Or, as a friend said to me the other day as I showed her v4.7 of the ever-evolving C&P web presence; 'You know, some people have a talent for this website stuff. You're not one of them.'

Thanks Lambeth/Railtrack/Whoever...

Surprise! Another Graffiti/Banksy weekend in Leake Street! Thanks for letting us know, it's not like we would have got in any books on Graffiti/Banksy to try and flog or anything like that...

How many peeps came to the last one in may again? A 100,000 you say! Really? Gosh, I'm sure we could sell a few books if we really try very, very hard.

I Am Banksy

there

the secret is out

Ode on Melancholy

ODE ON MELANCHOLY

NO, no! go not to Lethe, neither twist
Wolf's-bane, tight-rooted, for its poisonous wine;
Nor suffer thy pale forehead to be kist
By nightshade, ruby grape of Proserpine;
Make not your rosary of yew-berries,
Nor let the beetle, nor the death-moth be
Your mournful Psyche, nor the downy owl
A partner in your sorrow's mysteries;
For shade to shade will come too drowsily,
And drown the wakeful anguish of the soul.

But when the melancholy fit shall fall
Sudden from heaven like a weeping cloud,
That fosters the droop-headed flowers all,
And hides the green hill in an April shroud;
Then glut thy sorrow on a morning rose,
Or on the rainbow of the salt sand-wave,
Or on the wealth of globèd peonies;
Or if thy mistress some rich anger shows,
Emprison her soft hand, and let her rave,
And feed deep, deep upon her peerless eyes.

She dwells with Beauty — Beauty that must die;
And Joy, whose hand is ever at his lips
Bidding adieu; and aching Pleasure nigh,
Turning to poison while the bee-mouth sips:
Ay, in the very temple of Delight
Veil'd Melancholy has her sovran shrine,
Though seen of none save him whose strenuous tongue
Can burst Joy's grape against his palate fine;
His soul shall taste the sadness of her might,
And be among her cloudy trophies hung.

— John Keats (The Oxford Book of English Verse:
1250-1900, 1919 edition)

It's late, I'm tired...

Eh?

It's half six.

I'm in one shop by myself and adam is in the other shop by himself.

Crockatt & Powell.

This is all messed up! I thought being a company director was all about creaming millions by fleecing idiots. Aren't we supposed to be sunning ourselves on a beach somewhere whilst beautiful chicks create a breeze with their athletic belly-dancing?

Or something.

A week is a long time in...

...webland.

Been fiddlin' with the website again...

gone through a few changes this last week...

but it's all done now...

please don't tell us what you think...

it ain't changin' again...

just buy lots of ltd edition moleskine diaries...

pleeeeeeeeease...

Better late than never

It's taken a while but here are some pics of the new shop (and a couple of the old one) Or here for better kwality.

Phew, that's better. I've adopted a pet!

adopt your own virtual pet!

What a nice way to calm the day down. Hello Denis! Click on More to give Denis a nice feed of bamboo!

(Thanks to CCC)

Fuming, all-consuming, anger...

Just took a phone call from a publisher...

Must calm down...

Calm...

Calm........................

Sorry, no good. Going to have to hit something.

In Praise of Women or I Can See The Light or Now I Don't Have To Widdle On My Shoes Anymore...

Don't know what Bono was on about (note to humourless folk - where's my tongue? Oh look, my cheek!) but in my book that song should have been called Monday Bloody Monday.

I hauled myself out of bed, staggered to the kitchen and downed as much coffee as I could before walking from Camberwell to the River in the rain. Finn was yelling "I wan go bookshop with daddy!" as I left and generally acting sad that I was going - something that kept me in a cheery mood most of the walk as I had started to wonder if the little chap knew who his dad was. He also claimed to have been dreaming about Fulham last night - something else guaranteed to put a smile on my face - though nightmares would probably be more appropriate since we just lost to Hull. (Hull!)

Lower Marsh always looks worse on a rainy Monday. I decided I needed more coffee so swerved into Scooterworks for a takeaway latte. Fifi was there and so was Craig. I was feeling so anti-social I just muttered a hello and went to sit by the back door until the drink was ready. With a weak smile I left, realising I had just done my bit to confirm the stereotype of booksellers being miserable people.

So far so Monday. Hauled the shutters up and got splashed with muddy water. Grrr. Opened the door. Turned on lights. Went to have a quick "p" before the first punters arrived and...

DAH DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOLY COW BATMAN!

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BOG?

The light in the bog has been broken for a while. (I mean the bulb needed changing) I thought it was probably a couple of weeks but Adam thinks it was more like FOUR MONTHS. It is hard to even think about cleaning things in the dark. But that excuse sounds just a teensy bit lame when faced with the gleaming surfaces of our madeover toilet.

Thankyou. We are not worthy. Thankyou. I will say it again - thankyou.

Bogs

Guest blogger writes:

If ever you're desperate for a slash, and all options have been razed to the ground Armageddon-style leaving C&P as Last Man Standing, take my advice: cross your legs or use the street. I climbed the boys' rickety backroom stairwell to The Toilet this morning, itself an assault course for the hardy, and returned in a sheen of sweat feeling nauseous. I almost pitied the hideous eyesore that serves as the 'petit coin' with its air of neglect. Even the mice don't go there anymore. Hours later, having tackled it with a cleaner containing formaldehyde, it's now feeling less sorry for itself, if not exactly proud....... and one is less likely to contract a rare form of bowel disease. Which, of course, is an added bonus.

Look what we've got...

Apologies for the poor quality studio background and lighting, that's the store room.

Crockatt & Powell Open Late On Wednesdays Fulham Road

The Fulham Road shop is now open from 9am to 9pm on Wednesdays.

The Power of Noo

If I wrote a book called The Power of Noo how many copies do you think I would sell?

I would write under the name Egbert Tooler.

I'd be happy with 1% of Tolle's sales.

In fact I'm not joking any more - let's make this a pitch.

The Power of Noo by Egbert Tooler

Have you ever woken up in the morning and wished you were dead?

Have you ever done something really bad and wished the ground would open up and swallow you?

Have you ever walked into a black tie event with a purple bow tie on?

Have you ever walked into a party and seen someone in exactly the same dress?

You have? THEN YOU MUST BUY THIS BOOK IT WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE AGAIN AND AGAIN.

IF YOU WOULD JUST READ THIS BOOK ALL YOUR PROBLEMS WOULD VANISH.

HONEST.

Not convinced? You want more detail? Ok, the Power of Noo works like this. When/if you find yourself in one of the above situations you just close your eyes and count to 10. Then yell NOOOOOOOOO as loud as you can and you'll feel a lot better. Soon after you will realise your life is perfect and it will stay that way forever.

PS If you (yeah you) nick my idea and publish this book I will hunt you down and eliminate you.

Game of Monopoly anybody?

Not super recent news I know but Amazon has just bought AbeBooks. Great.

Till Monkeys

A friend went into her local Books Etc. to have a look at a book recommended to her (although she won't be a friend for much longer if she continues to go into her local Books Etc. looking for books recommended to her - Are you reading this!?). Anyway, it was The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, published in 1999 since when it has been on the New York Times bestseller list and translated into 33 languages. She asked the assistant for The Power of Now by somebody Eckhart. The assistant had not only not heard of it but failed to find it on their database and confidently announced that it didn't exist and she was mistaken.

I knew about the book instantly so this obviously and conclusively proves the inherent superiority of independent bookshops! Or sort of. Case closed my friends, case closed. Ha!

Sunshine on a Rainy Day

The weather men were hedging their bets. A dark cloud with rain drops falling out of it and a sun peeking from behind. Don't get me started. I loathe those charlatans and their computer predictions of doom. Why don't they want people to go outside? In defiance I leaped out of bed and began packing. Ok ok ok so I don't do packing. But I did get dressed in about three seconds using my patented technique...

Digression:

How to get dressed in three and a half seconds: TM

1: When you get undressed pull down trousers and boxers and socks in one movement leaving them on the floor by the bed where they fell.

2: Take off shirt and chuck on floor.

Upon waking:

3: Stand, bleary eyed, in position with feet in trouser legs. Slip on socks. Pull up trousers and boxers in one fluid motion.

4: Pick up shirt off floor and put on.

Dah Daaah!

We left the flat in record time and were at Victoria in time for the 9:45 train. For reading material I had the Sunday Times, the Hesperus edition of A Hero of Our Time by Mikhail Lermontov and Charlie and Lola's Haircut Sticker Book. I read about Russian troops fighting Georgians in South Ossetia, then read about Russian troops seducing Caucasian women in South Ossetia then stuck funny wigs on Charlie that were really meant for Lola whilst yelling with glee at a passing JCB racing track. Most of my life consists of similarly bizarre clashes of media and culture these days.

Arriving in Broadstairs we bought our meat pies filled with real Kent meat and then slapped on the sun cream and hit the beach. But that's cutting a longer story short. To get to the beach we had to negotiate troops of Morris dancers and ale-quaffing, bell-covered folk-music lovers. It was Broadstairs folk week. (Another clash of cultures that. Ale drinking plump middle-aged folk VS lager swilling, skinny teen wide boys and their scantily clad, breezer drinking schoolgirlfriends. )

On the beach we had great times building sandcastles and stamping on them.

Then we had great times catching creatures. (A small crab, several shrimp and a beautiful starfish - all released back into the wild as soon as mum had seen them.)

While Finn slept I drank Hobgoblin and consumed the remains of the paper (yes I ate it) whilst
the Maz wandered round the folk stalls. She later described them as selling "the biggest pile of tat I've ever seen". I was very relieved to see she didn't come back with a rainbow coloured hat. What is it about folk music that makes people appreciate rainbow hats? And clogs. And baggy striped trousers? The music is often great but the apparel is fu*king terrible.

Finn woke up and we ate dripping ice-creams and listened to an impromptu folk gig that started on the bench opposite us. I really do love folk music. But why? Why? Why? Why the bad clothes? Even I - possibly the most fashion challenged man in the world - can see how dumb those people look. The kids might be pissed up and loud but at least they looked great.

And all the while the sun beat down. White heat. Blue sky. The sounds of the sea and accordions.

Then back to London after a brief argument about who lost Finn's shoes.

In London it was raining. Raining and raining.

But we took a chance and went to be beside the seaside and had a lovely day.

Gadget Boy

I made an executive decision. The C&P IT dept. really needed a new mobile. It's just arrived...

Excuse me while I dance a jig of unadulterated joy in the middle of the shop.

Amazonia

Brilliant, curmudgeonly article on amaz*n and e-readers.

YouTube noodling

Had one of those evenings flitting around YouTube listening to music and watching videos and realising that you're getting older and that whatever the opposite of 'Down With the Kids' is, that's you.

Anyway, I liked this one. Nice enough tune but anybody who gets Natalie Portman and Bollywood dancing into their video deserves as much recognition and praise as possible. So, in my own small way...

Least appropriate book jacket award

I can just imagine the meeting at Sales and Marketing:

'It's by a 47 year old man whose life, body and mind have, well, fallen apart'

'Is it funny?'

'Er, no, not really. In fact I'd hazard he was clinically depressed when he wrote it'

'Not funny at all?'

'Really, no. It's incredibly bleak. This is the mind of a certain type of middle aged man who really cannot see any future for himself or the world'

'Can we get anybody to say it's funny?'

'...Er... I suppose... There's plenty of Rent A Quotes out there we can use'

'Great! And falling apart you say? My kids love that Mr Potato Head toy where you stick the bits onto him and they fall off again. Stick that on the cover! They'll love it!'

And so it goes...

Free Stuff

Occasionally publishers send us unsolicited free stuff and occasionally it turns out to be a real treat. So thanks to the brilliant Atlas Press for sending us The Philosopher's Madonna, The Sixth Sense, The Deliquescences of Andre Floupette and Mirror of Tauromachy!

Crooked Stairs

This is amazing.

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn RIP

Very sad to hear of the death of one of Russia's greatest writers Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn.

Reading One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich was an experience that I think I could say changed my life.

My dad built a bookcase his architect friend said was impossible. It should have collapsed or fallen over right away but it didn't. It withstood many years of use and held hundreds of books of all shapes and sizes, completely covering one wall in the living room from floor to ceiling. As time goes by I am increasingly convinced that this wall of books is one of the reasons I now find myself surrounded by books on all sides. If I was bored I could just go and grab a book. And because my parents were big readers there were always plenty of great books just waiting to blow my tiny teenage brain apart...

One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich was a book that seemed to ooze importance. I passed over it it several times until the day arrived when I felt ready to read it. I was suitably impressed. As a portrayal of survival, the sheer power of the imperative to live at all costs, it was stunning. What I was less aware of were the political surroundings. I knew that Stalin was a monster - but only in a vague and hazy way. How could ideas, mental constructs - ideas that were supposed to enhance the living conditions for all mankind - lead to such horrors?

Later I read Arthur Koestler's Darkness at Noon

And I have recently read Simon Sebag Montefire's Sashenka which charts the progress of a youthful revolutionary's arc from idealistic Bolshevik through to her despicable end at the hands of the party she helped to create.

(If you prefer non-fiction then Anne Applebaum's superb book Gulag is essential reading)

Solzhenitsyn was an important figure because he never shut up. He insisted on reminding people of the horrors of the gulag in the same way that Primo Levi and others have helped to keep the holocaust in the minds of the masses.

A great man has died. But his books survive and will continue to be read for as long as a civilised and just society remains a work in progress...

How is it...

...that the noisy, jostling, overwhelming metropolis leaves us at once so energized and so fragile?"

SOFT CITY by Jonathan Raban is back in Picador.

Something boring and sensible.

here

That's just great

Some upstanding pillar of the community has let their dog take a shit outside our window and not picked it up.

I am thinking bad thoughts...

Twisted Spoon Press

Well, there's something to be said for spending too much time in a bookshop on Saturday morning after all...

You might just discover brilliant books in it.

Like of kids and parents by emil hakl from the excellent Twisted Spoon Press.

Take a father. Add his son. Place them in Prague and watch them wander about from pub to pub. Listen to their rambling conversation. Find yourself in literary heaven.

(I'm always quoting chunks of books out of context and it never really works but I'll do it again because I just have to ok?)

"Boy was I glad to get a chance to read Joyce's Ulysees back when I had my pancreas operated on, Iva brought it to the hospital, because I'd asked her to bring some really thick book, I'd meant something like Melville or Victor Hugo, I'd even have enjoyed reading Kipling again after so many years, but Iva just took all the thick books off the shelf, looked at them and put the thickest in her bag and that turned out to be a copy of Ulysees, which someone had forgotten at my place at some point...It wasn't you by any chance was it?"

"No, I've got my copy at home. I've started reading it two or three times over the years but have given up every time somewhere around page fifty."

"Oh well, I finished it, you know I was reading it so attentively, like nothing before because I was thinking that it might just be the last thing I get to read in this world! I was taking in every word, not that I understood any of it, but at the time I didn't care...This sort of literature - what's called belles lettres - is mainly for people who otherwise don't get a lot out of life, it's for miserable bastards, you know. Everybody else, those who are healthy and have money, they only look at it as a bit of light, tedious entertainment before falling asleep."

Something for the Weekend

After seeing a prom performance of Richard Strauss's last songs I popped into Gramex on Lower Marsh and purchased a slab of vinyl for £3.

As with every purchase I have ever made in this fine establishment it is in great condition, a beautiful performance and generally excellent in every way. I now have Richard Strauss to explore.

Come to think of it maybe it's the Strauss that accounts for the terrible bout of melancholia that seems to be sweeping through my life these last few days. The Germans are fantastic at moaning.

But I have one and a half days off coming up. Perhaps a good dose of Finn and family will sort my black-clouded head out. (Or maybe I'm just missing the football?)

Anyway. Youtube. Gramophone. Strauss. Enjoy...

From the C&P IT dept: Spot the Difference

Dell do the design-y thing. I know which one I'd rather have...

But even if you do prefer the Dell (if you're blind or something) then you still have to put up with the truly ghastly Vista, an operating system of pig-like clunkitude.

Ouch!

Michael Bywater on Julie Burchill in today's Independent.

'In the same way, Burchill is a professional noise, a comic turn of the old Les Dawson sort but without the linguistic invention, the observation and the jokes.'

C'mon Michael, tell us what you really think! (His Big Babies book from last year is great)

Anyway, it's the weekend. Here's some pop music I liked this week. She's Norwegian...

The End of the World is Nigh

Luckily the future is in safe hands...

The Lesser-Spotted Spacey

A rare sighting indeed, the Spacey stopped by Waterloo for a brief peruse and a purchase. Obviously on his summer migration who knows when the Spacey will return to the C&P hunting grounds...

The Sun Is Shining, "F" Came By With The Beers...

...and I'm working on a blog about space travel!

(Stephen Hawking and Richard Branson go into faux orbit with a bunch of Russian oligarchs and Branson Brand Bimbos and probably Bill Gates or some other SUPER NERD but following an Arthur Ransomesque WE DIDN'T MEAN TO GO TO SEA style incident they discover they are in fact en-route to Mars.)

Chill with Santana while I work on the details...

Trouble cycling

As a keen and regular cyclist we have many near misses and occasional run ins with irate drivers who, for some reason, hate us! But it's a whole other level entirely when even the police offer their opinion:



Now, I'm no real fan of the Critical Mass rides here in London but really, isn't that a little over the top?

When...

...will people start to take us seriously?

(Maybe the lovin' spoonful sends out the wrong sort of message? Is it a crime to have fun and run bookshops? But we can't be that bad at it if we're onto our second shop in a mere 3 years. And so far we have not wasted sh*tloads of other peeps money.)

As you can see from the link above we've been dead keen 0n this for some considerable time and now Blackwells are in there.

Gadzooks if we had the money we'd be Printing on Demand already.

I've said it before and I'll say it again - anyone out there with a few quid to spare drop us a line...

Forget e-books. The revolution starts here.

That's Better

I love the lovin' and the uke but this song just needs nothing - it's perfect.

A Crazy Ukulele Hippy Version

What Did I Do To Deserve...

...customers (ok friends really - but we met through the shop) who bring me beer on a hot afternoon?

Is this a job?

All the financial anxiety and precarious relationship to money in general is worth it when the likes of "F" are around.

"F" - we salute you!

On A Lighter Note...

Claire and I were photographed by Barry Lategan on Saturday morning. He read about us in the Evening Standard where Simon Sebag Montefiore mentioned our "charming" bookshop in his Londoner's Diary.

And this week Timeout have us in a battle of the books.

It's Chelsea VS Peckham.

Our Chelsea top 10

1: Sashenka by Simon Sebag Monteifiore (It really is our no 1 cynics!)

2: The Owl and the Pussycat (lovely US boardbook)

3: Ottolenghi The Cookbook (Signed)

4: Selected Letters of Julian Maclaren-Ross

5: The Pledge by Friedrich Durrenmatt

Review Bookshop (My real local bookshop)

1: The Brother Gardeners by Andrea Wulf

2: Drinking for England by Fergus Linnane

3: Derelict London (Selling well at C & P Lower Marsh - itself an ex-Derelict London website location)

4: Careless by Deborah Robertson

5: Uncommon Arrangements by Katie Roiphe

Is my life weird these days or what?

A note to the BA

If you want me to do something for you for which I am not receiving payment or frankly, have any interest in, then it is neither URGENT! nor ESSENTIAL.

Kind Regards

Something For The Weekend

I was reading Paula Fox in the Paris Review when she mentioned walking into a friend's apartment and hearing this...

Youtube - I salute you!

Inspiration!

I've had a flash of inspiration thanks to those retail geniuses at Asda

In order to increase C&P's market share to a very tasty 0.008% and therefore a great investment target for all those hedge funders out there this week coming all books at C&P stores are reduced to ONE POUND* Yes, that's right folks you heard correctly, ONE POUND ONLY*

You see, it's footfall is the name of the game, punters through the door. Bugger this profit nonsense...

*stickered items only

When was the last time you backed up your data?

...erm...

..er..

.I.

hmmm

I'm Reading two Great Books...

...one before drinks and one after.

Before drinks (this is a book that demands concentration and attention) I'm reading The Lost Dog by Michelle de Kretser. It's a brilliant narrative that works on several levels. On one level a man loses his dog and sets out to find it. On another level he thinks about his relationship with his elderly and increasingly decrepit mother. On another level we're thinking back to his childhood in India. On another level he thinks back over a failed marriage and the failing relationship he is having with an artist. On another level the artist may be a murderer or insane or perhaps just weird. Then there are discussions of art, reality, painting, writing - the main character, Tom, is writing a critical book on Henry James. There is an air of generalised menace that permeates the whole book - as though all of these layers are just a distraction from some vast and deadly something that is going to happen...If I had to mention books that this is a bit like I would go for a blend of Siri Hustvedt's What I Loved and JM Coetzee's Disgrace.

There's a quote from James at the start "The whole of anything can never be told" and that holds true for descriptions of this book. Let's just say that in my opinion this is Literature.

Then after drinks (because this is a book that makes being sober seem kind of wrong) is what I'm convinced will end up a kind of warped classic - the awesomely messed up Knockemstiff by Donald Ray Pollock.

The dude worked in a meatpacking plant after leaving school then moved up in the world to a position in a paper mill where he remained for thirty two years honing his literary skills.

The stories are DARK but very funny. You will giggle like an evil sprite then feel all guilty when you are more sober. All the best jokes are a bit evil aren't they? Oh, that's just me is it? Well look - if you thought We Need To Talk About Kevin was more darkly comic that outrageously offensive then you'll probably like Knockemstiff...

The case for the prosecution...

... rests.

I'm going to regret this...

...but picture the scene.

Boy meets girl or boy meets boy or girl meets girl or boy meets sheep or (just picture a pre-romantic encounter that suits your preference ok?) and one of them is reading a book.

Instant potential conversation (less likely to give you cancer than a cig more to talk about etc). Marie blogged a while ago about two people who met after they saw each other in the park reading Gods Behaving Badly.

I mean who hasn't (at an earlier stage in their development) wandered about with a book under their arm or sat in a cafe reading a book because they thought it made them look cool/sophisticated/intelligent etc?

Now what happens when it's an e-reader? You go to the park and sit on a bench?

Mobbed by geeks.

You are on the tube?

Mobbed by geeks.

You are in a cafe?

Mobbed by geeks.

Forget the book - it's romance that should be on the endangered species list!

And another thing:

Two geeks meet. They both have their e-readers. They "shock horror" compare libraries! Now there's no opportunity to pretend you have read all of Thomas Pynchon's work then rush out to your friendly local bookseller ask who the hell this Pynchon dude is then buy books and sit at home reading for years in preparation for the first date...

Respect the books...

When I used to go out...

I would know everyone that I saw,

Now I go out alone if I go out at all...

Too caught up...

...to remember young Master Finn's 2nd birthday. Public apologies Mrs M Crockatt and happy birthday to your (and Matthew's) lovely boy. He has a fine right foot on him - a potential Bullard for sure.

Who said it was gonna be easy

It's been a long day...



I honestly, properly shouldn't but it's just not as much fun as it used to be when we were young, whipper snapping upstarts. Too much money at stake, too many responsibilities. The next and the biggest challenge - how to channel the spirit of Lower Marsh into the next biggish thing.

Maybe more pop music would help!



Moan, moan, moan. Ignore me, it's late...

Hopefully Matthew will delete this post before anyone gets a chance to read it.

Geeks - I Surrender

Gadzooks.

The world is flat.

I surrender. Get back to me when the book is dead and my bookshops are betting shops.

I should be having this argument in a stuffy dusty room not a blog eh?

I am looking for some printer paper for an Epsom blad di blah printer...

..."and why do you think I would have some?" I enquire?

"You don't have printer papers?"

"No, we are a bookshop. We sell books."

"Oh."

SMOKE IS BACK

At last...and Matt's bringing them direct from home again...

That's Peckham library on the front there.

GEEKS - Look away now...

Ok, I'm fed up with sensible arguments.

Here it is:

e-books don't work, will never work are just a stupid idea.

There will be no I-Pod moment.

Forget it.

Move on.

In the future people will still use forks. Why? Because they do the job.

Same for books. Sorry geeks.

Is It Ever

GOING TO STOP RAINING!

Where's the summer?

I want A REFUND!

Sashenka

Simon Montefiore came in to sign his novel Sashenka yesterday.

More usually known for his journalism and excellent history books (Catherine the Great and Potemkin, Stalin: The Court of the Red Tsar and most recently The Young Stalin) Simon has now turned to real storytelling and produced a novel.

I love the Russian classics (we once had a promotion that involved buy one get Crime and Punishment free - take that Waterstoners etc!) and I have a heart of Steel. (In other words only two books have ever made me cry - The final part of Cormac McCarthy's Border Trilogy and Watership Down by Richard Adams) Initially I thought I would give Sashenka a miss as it looked a little bit too "family saga" for my taste. But I opened the book, started reading and have been captivated ever since...

I think we have signed first editions of a massive bestseller in stock!

Ottolenghi

We have signed copies of the Ottolenghi cookbook in the Fulham Road shop now.

Are you an Ottolenghi type?

An Ottolenghi type has a certain irrational commitment to a cause, professionalism that goes well beyond formal duties, a deep caring for what they do and the people around them and heaps of energy and vitality.

Yes, we're Ottolenghi types. "a certain irrational commitment to a cause" sounds familiar. The main reason you should buy the book is the great food they are pushing.

Another reason to buy the book is that Yotam and Sami were such charming gentlemen when they came to sign. Good blokes, doing something they love...

Can I have one of these please

Or, the geeks shall inherit the Earth...

Oscar the Grouch

Please, please can people just do the bloody job they're paid to do.

One of those days...

Sorry, we don't take payment on Saturdays

So, you're the biggest wholesaler in the country dealing with hundreds of bookshops delivering thousands of boxes a day and work in collaboration with one of the largest US wholesalers. You also fulfill orders from amaz*n, run a template website for small bookshops and co-ordinate home deliveries for individual customers.

But on a saturday it seems there's only one person in the office who can log on to the system and take a payment over the phone, so they don't bother.

THIS ISN'T THE 1950'S!!!!!!! WAKE UP!!!

On a similar theme, we're currently getting our deliveries from the marvelous Baker & Taylor in America approximately 48 hours after ordering them. Many UK distributors are still quoting 7-10 days. And that's just across town. Jesus, I could walk there and pick up the books myself if it's really too much trouble...

The Modern World

These days I always seem to be around a computer and a printer but when I want something as simple as a ruler I can never find one and Rymans will be shut. Luckily we have the internet.

How cool is the modern world? Or is it a tragedy that I'm surrounded by a computer and printer and not something as simple as an old wooden device for measuring things?

In an aside and related to a post below about e-reader stuff here are a selection of things which I reckon means there won't be an 'ipod moment' for electronic books (general trade like what we sell, not educational or academic or journals or newspapers for which the e-reader is destined). They are all things for which the ipod is a genius bit of kit:

• You can't dance and read an e-book
• You can't go for a run and read an e-book
• You can't ride a bike and read an e-book
• You can't go to the gym and read an e-book
• You can't ride a skateboard and read an e-book
• You can't go rollerblading and read an e-book
• You can't go hiking and read an e-book
  
• You can't do the washing up and read an e-book
• You can't do the ironing and read an e-book
• You can't do the hoovering and read an e-book
• You can't drive a car and read an e-book
  
• You can't just lie back and listen to music and read an e-book
• etc.

And can you think of a single instance where you'd be reading your e-book when you couldn't be listening to your ipod also/instead?

In a nutshell then, the ipod is universal, the e-reader is specific. All of the above and more are why there was an 'ipod moment', it's not transferable to books, it's just not the same and surely that's obvious and those are my thoughts until the next time.

Victory!

A while ago I posted an outraged rant about the excellent Virago Modern Classics 30th Birthday Hardbacks.

But they are lovely and everything? "Why the outrage?" I hear you sigh.

Well they were EXCLUSIVE weren't they...To Waterstoners...

When is exclusive not exclusive? When it's a Waterstoners exclusive dummy!

Fab News!

WE CAN SELL THEM AND WILL HAVE THEM ALL FROM NEXT WEEK!

* * * *

Now the "serious" bit - my 2p worth.

Waterstones sold all the stock they had very quickly. Hatchards had 20 of each and sold them all, re-ordered and sold them all again. These are (whisper it) Hardback books we are talking about. Not only Hardback they are "Classics". You mean people went out, in these crunching times, and bought Hardback books? When they were all available in paperback? When they could have bought them cheaper? WHY!

Have you been shopping recently? There are savage sales everywhere - 75% off. Nobody is buying stuff. But they bought these Virago classics? WHY!

Because they are great books. They are £10. And that's a bargain. All of a sudden that Primark top with the sequins stitched on by little children reeks of what it is - devilish crud. But good books are good books are good books.

Dare I say it - Books are worth paying for...

And the winner isn't...

Tee hee...

Felt very bad for Tom, but since Dannie Abse won and he launched The Prescence at C & P last year - kind of pleased.

That's the kind of thing you have nightmares about eh?