Wednesday, December 24, 2008

And A Happy New Year

I love the start of this video. It reminds me of nursery. We used to have dancing classes once a week and me and my little mate Frank always did our Batman dance. This involved climbing an imaginary rope ladder into a helicopter (kind of climbing on the spot) It used to really wind the teacher up. She would try and get us to follow everyone else and we just kept on climbing.

I also love this band.

Had one of their albums on I-Tunes for ages and every time a track popped up on shuffle I would think "ooh this is good, wonder who it is?" until I finally decided they were rather good.

You probably haven't seen me dance around my living room have you? The years have developed my technique way beyond the Batman stage. I can bend. And wiggle. Soft shoe shuffle. In a word, funky...

Monday, December 22, 2008

I didn't know Market stalls had accounts with Turnaround

Walking past the market stalls this morning on the Marsh I noticed a big ol' pile of Moleskine notebooks. I wonder if the stall holder had paid the suppliers pro forma because I know that we had to fill in a big form with address and referees and bank details to secure a line of supply.

I wonder, just where could he have got them from?

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Merry Christmas

Just a sentimental sloppy wet one from half of Crockatt & Powell...

(The other half is groaning and hiding behind a curtain, wishing I would shut the f&c& up!)

I love you, no I really really love you. I mean it you know. All of you. Every single one of you that's spent any money in either of our shops ever. You don't have to shop in our shop but you do and that's why I love you. Did I tell you I loved you? I did? A few times already? Oh...ok...but...I love you...

(Sound effect of bookseller falling backwards into pile of empty bottles.)

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Now That's

What I Call A Lame Duck...

Monday, December 15, 2008

Sam Crockatt Quartet

Tom Richards, Tom Richards Orchestra

Jazz musician and composer who released the enthusiastically received Smoke and Mirrors

I love the Sam Crockatt Quartet's Howeird (Cadiz Music). Sam's compositions are incredibly melodic and open, and Gwilym Simcock does the most ridiculously virtuosic piano solo on the track 'Project 1', which is worth the price of the album alone.

That from the Observer best albums of 2008 list.

Well done Sam!

Copies of Howeird should be available for sale from C & P from tomorrow. If you want an advance taste then visit his Myspace page.

And a warm monday morning welcome to you too!

US Book Sales Decrease By 20% In October

Posted at 5:27PM Saturday 13 Dec 2008

Book sales tracked by the Association of American Publishers (AAP) for the month of October decreased by 20.1 percent at $644.5 million and were down by 3.4 percent for the year.

Woolworths suppliers circle Zavvi

Music labels and creditors to Woolworths are circling the assets of Zavvi, the CD and DVD chain, with both sides looking to get their hands on cash raised from Christmas shoppers.

Administrator confirms 700 redundancies at EUK

Seven hundred staff at Entertainment UK (EUK), the CD and DVD distribution arm of Woolworths, will lose their jobs after a buyer for the division could not be found.   

Doesn't big ben look like some sort of glowing parasitic worm...

Friday, December 12, 2008


We at Crockatt & Powell recognise the importance of traditions and the role they play in all our lives.

So it is with great pleasure that I now relate this feat of outstanding blaggery performed by our esteemed colleague Stuart.

It all started at about 6pm when I overheard a telephone conversation Stuart was having with a friend.

"The Lyceum. Yeah. Herodotus, yeah. But the Thucydides was more difficult - I could only get it in paperback."

"Great conversation Stuart, I loved the progress from pub to culture." I said.

But it went further than that. On the floor of the Lyceum Stuart and his mate found an invite to the Guardian Christmas party. An opportunity for a blag. Well, tradition has it that such opportunities must be taken. They turn up, brandish the invite "Yeah, we write for the Guardian" and leap hurdle one.

Hurdle two asked for security passes.

"Oh, we lost them in the pub" says Stuart.

"Oh don't worry" says the cheery bouncer "Your names will be on the list."

At this point our man confessed to losing his bottle. He froze.

"Er, we found the invite on the floor in the pub" says Stuart's mate.

"I live just round the corner" was all our man could come up with.

"Guys, you are really going to have to work on your excuses" says the bouncer and LET THEM IN...

To a world with not one free bar, not two free bars, not three free bars but FOUR free bars.

"At first we were after beer, then champagne then we thought "why not whisky?" and by the end we were like "A mochito? Why not?"

Sadly the chaps lost focus to such a degree they were not able to tell us anything else about the party.

"There was a Northern Soul room" were Stuart's final words on the matter.

Feed me

Apparently there were some issues with people not being able to receive a feed of this blog on their various readers. Don't let it be said we never listen to anybody. Somewhere on this page will be a subscribe button.

It now works.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Domestic Animals

Last night the Maz (my long suffering) went out for her office Christmas party. In other words I had to look after Finn and myself for the evening. Finn was fine. We hung out at Scooterworks eating falafel and drinking coffee whilst chatting to Fifi and Nat. Then we went home and he had a bath and some stories before we set off on a walk around the park. With the lad asleep at last I turned my thoughts to myself and my stomach.

Hmmm. I had neglected to buy anything for my own supper and a bookseller's cupboard is often more or less bare. I had a look in the freezer and spied a pack of fish fingers. I'd been chatting with Nat about fish finger sandwiches earlier and it suddenly seemed like a great idea so I stuck ten under the grill and left the kitchen.

The smoke had to fill the kitchen and the hallway before it reached me where I was sipping from a large glass of red wine...(Note to concerned firemen: We do have an alarm but I had taken it off the wall and thrown it in the bedroom earlier - as it often goes off when fish fingers are cooking normally)

Man, those fish fingers were dead. Very dead. Cremated.

And then I arrive at work this morning to find an e-mail from Adam's flatmate titled Dangerous Times Call For Radical Measures aka The Fridge. It seems the fridge round Adam's is a little stinky. Or very stinky indeed perhaps.

Aren't you glad we don't live with you?

Monday, December 08, 2008

A Heroine for Specky Types Everywhere...

There was a program about her last night. Why did she lose her TV show?

Saturday, December 06, 2008

Second Hand bah, humbug

The Marsh gets a lot of people through the door asking 'Is it all new books then?' and looking disappointed and disdainful when I confirm that indeed, new books at full price is all we sell. Without fail these folk have a certain uppity moral superiority that indicates they would never demean themselves by buying anything new.

They remind me of all these 'Savers' in the papers moaning that interest rate cuts are punishing their good behaviour and rewarding those morally inferior 'Borrowers'.

Well, here's the story people. Savers earn interest on their savings because 'Borrowers' borrow money and all second hand books were once bought new. It's the system, fools!

Friday, December 05, 2008

A Load of Bolano (that's a good thing)

Some time ago I wrote this.

Now someone just sent me this.

Dr Rick, I know you didn't finish the Savage Detectives.

But this dead guy is/was the man...

Powers of Ten

Some friends gave me a flick-book of this video years ago.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Geller - I Surrender...

Just when you think I can't possibly be any more stupid - I am more stupid.

Ok, so here's how it went.

Today I arrive at the Fulham Road shop soaking wet after having scooted over in the rain/snow. The crew are all very cheery and seem pleased to see me. Obviously alarm bells should have started to ring right away but they didn't. I drip through into the kids room and try to open the door into the staff room. Hmm. My code does not work. I sigh and try theirs. It does not work. I can hear what sounds a little bit like sniggering from the other room. Sure enough Stuart comes through and says words to the effect of "I know you haven't got psychic powers you Southern Jessie but I thought I'd let you find out the hard way."

I fiddle around for a while longer while people stand there saying things like "Yeah, we tried that. It didn't work."

So then I go out and get a crowbar come back and smash the door open.

Geller. You win. Bas$%rd.

(But you're just a bit afraid of me now eh? Remember Scott Pack eh?)

Monday, December 01, 2008

Uri Geller - Stand Aside!

I've got so many things to do I thought I might as well waste a bit of time blogging about my ever-increasing psychic powers...

We have a combination lock on the door to the staff area at the Fulham Road shop. Ever since we opened I have been using one code to pass through it and, I discovered recently, everyone else has been using another.

Both codes worked (that's why we've only just realised there were two) until Thursday last week. All of a sudden people were unable to get through the door to the staff area. Stuart would go off for lunch. Then he would come back through to the front room complaining about the door. I would go through, punch in my code and open it. This went on for a while. One of my colleagues would try the door and come back complaining it was broken. Then I'd go through no problem.

Somehow I have managed to make the door only accept my combination. My combination that was wrong the whole time.

So don't mess. I could probably really sc£*w you up if I put my mind to it!