Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Police! Response!

Random nutter with blood pouring down his head starts screaming and kicking stuff on the marsh - 'I Want To Die!!!' he says - within 90 seconds we have 4 police cars and 2 police vans attending the scene. Awesome!! This is what I pay my friggin' taxes for!


  1. A couple of weeks ago I had a bloke in the shop with waaaaaay too much aftershave on. He bought a book for £4.99 and paid with a twenty. Ran our magic pen over the note and it did nothing so I handed over £15.01 change and the book. Just as he left the shop I glanced down at the note and NOW the magic pen ink had gone purple.


    I was poised to give chase when a couple of cops entered the shop, radios buzzing.

    "You caught him! Excellent stuff lads!"

    They looked at me in some confusion.

    "Er, we had a report of an assault nearby."

    "Oh, well I just had a bloke..."

    They were off. Worst of all when I now looked outside Mr Aftershave was nowhere to be seen.

  2. I'm so sorry about the beers. It won't happen again, promise.

    I know how it is, as I'm trying to get rid of the spare tyre myself.

    Wonder who would look fittest in a bikini by May? - me, you or Adam.


  3. F - I've seen Adam in a bikini and it's not a pretty sight.

    But I'm pretty foxy in a tight two piece. I know you have land on a paradise island. I could be tempted away from sunny Waterloo...