Random nutter with blood pouring down his head starts screaming and kicking stuff on the marsh - 'I Want To Die!!!' he says - within 90 seconds we have 4 police cars and 2 police vans attending the scene. Awesome!! This is what I pay my friggin' taxes for!
A couple of weeks ago I had a bloke in the shop with waaaaaay too much aftershave on. He bought a book for £4.99 and paid with a twenty. Ran our magic pen over the note and it did nothing so I handed over £15.01 change and the book. Just as he left the shop I glanced down at the note and NOW the magic pen ink had gone purple.
ReplyDeleteARGH!
I was poised to give chase when a couple of cops entered the shop, radios buzzing.
"You caught him! Excellent stuff lads!"
They looked at me in some confusion.
"Er, we had a report of an assault nearby."
"Oh, well I just had a bloke..."
They were off. Worst of all when I now looked outside Mr Aftershave was nowhere to be seen.
I'm so sorry about the beers. It won't happen again, promise.
ReplyDeleteI know how it is, as I'm trying to get rid of the spare tyre myself.
Wonder who would look fittest in a bikini by May? - me, you or Adam.
Fx
F - I've seen Adam in a bikini and it's not a pretty sight.
ReplyDeleteBut I'm pretty foxy in a tight two piece. I know you have land on a paradise island. I could be tempted away from sunny Waterloo...