Tuesday, June 19, 2007

A Dud Avocado

It was a hot, peaceful,optimistic sort of day. I was sitting in my box with all the other avocados thinking how fantastic it is to be here. One minute I was hanging on the tree, just starting to think I'd never do anything, go anywhere or be anything and then it happened - I was picked!

In some ways it would have been better to end up somewhere more romantic than Cruzon's fruit and veg grocery in Camberwell. (I always dreamed of Paris and the movies.)

But South London will just have to do. At least Mr Cruzon is a lovely man. He gave me a good rub earlier so my skin shines brightly. My mother always used to say "If you have a bright and shiny skin you just never know what might happen" - not that I ever paid too much attention to her.

Hello, now there's a sight. Mum and her little lad. What a handsome chappy! Oooh, he likes the look of me. Oh gosh, what a lot of teeth for one so small. It looks like - OUCH! Little bugger bit me! Now I have tooth-marks in my skin...

At least mum has a bit of decency and is going to buy me.

I wonder what sort of house they have? My fantasy was always ending up on a plate at the Ritz, being nibbled by the lacquered lips of a film starlet.

Hmmm...a basement flat. Not bad inside though. Bit of a mess. Obviously someone likes their books. And the fruit bowl is ok. The bananas are rather over-friendly but the apples are a solid bunch.

Well my time has come! But mum, what are you doing? The little bloke is chewing me again! Don't you know you have to cut the skin off? Ah, back in a civilised grasp. She's chopped a chunk off the top. I'm heading back to the little gob again...

...but he's just had a lick and chucked me straight on the floor. That really is no way to treat a lady. Now dad has picked me up. What! He's running me under the tap. Oh, that's really classy - back to little gob for another go. Aargh, he's chucked me on the floor again. I can't take any more of this, I'm off...

I don't know why he keeps chucking it on the floor Maz, usually Finn loves his avocado. Maybe it's a dud?


  1. poor li'l 'cado. Maybe you could be made into some nice face cream?!

  2. Hey leebot - you may be interested to hear I was often known as Chicken Crockatt at school...