Friday, August 25, 2006

It's Official! There is no crime in London!

That's the only explanation I can muster for a scene witnessed today on the Hungerford foot bridge over the Thames on my way to the Strand.

A little Chinese guy has had a pitch on the bridge for the last year selling little whistles that make a noise like birdsong for £2.50 a pop. He's tiny and takes up no space and is surely barely eking a living.

Today, two of the Met's finest were standing over him talking into their radios and preparing to arrest him. At first I was alarmed but then it occured to me that finally there is no crime left! All the drug dealers must have been locked up. All the sleeper cells found and disbanded. All the burglars reformed. Why else would the police commit valuable resources for the flimsiest of 'offences' - selling bird whistles without a license.

So my hearty congratulations, London bobbies. Well done lads and lasses and keep up the good work!


  1. I will remember to buy a bird whistle next time I go over Hungerford Bridge. If he`s still there.

  2. Surely his problem is that we are not allowed to whistle at birds anymore. It's political correctness gone mad.

  3. no, no, I worked it out in bed last night.. clearly this little guy is actually the leader of a vast international drug-smuggling operation and also Bin Liner in disguise plus he is responsible for every unpaid parking fine in the UK and he runs a factory manufacturing false passports, a money laundering laundry and a counterfeit fivers printing house in Budleigh Salterton.
    So of course they were questioning him. I don`t know how you could have failed to know all this.

  4. Susan - you have been writing too many crime novels!

    May blog more Finn today but so far too busy in shop...