Sunday, July 16, 2006

Here begins a chronicle and account of the legendary exploits of the small but mighty bean known throughout the land as Finn...

One morning Finn awoke and knew his kin, the beans, were in danger. Snoozing the evening before he had a vision of Suzanne Charlton pointing to some numbers and then whilst asleep the sun had blazed brightly in his dreams.

Those little orange flowers that one day, with care and water and not too much sun, would become good green beans were doomed to be frazzled without swift intervention from their protector Finn.

But how could our tiny hero reach them? The beans grew in a far away land at the bottom of the garden. The grassy plains were wide and full of insects. The jealous and potentially vicious cat lurked in the bushes. He was sure to take any opportunity to dispatch his newborn rival. Despite being a legendary hero famed throughout the land as a mighty warrior Finn was finding it hard to hold his own head steady on his shoulders. (In fact the most heroic exploit so far achieved by the tiny titan was rather embarrassing. Finn could wee on his own head! But that was no help to anyone.)

But where strength fails, wit prevails!

Bawling at the top of his little lungs Finn summoned the tired and sluggish giant - dad. He yelled on as the dimbo went through the usual routine designed to settle Finn - nappy, burping etc.

Finally, as Finn knew he would, daft daddy strapped our hero onto his chest and opened the back door. It was cool outside but already the first rays of sun were shining on the vegetable patch.

"I think we'll water those beans" said the big fool and off they set, watering can in hand (there was a ban on), flying over the grassy plains high above the p'd off cat to water veg for all mankind.

Here ye how the poets tell of the day Finn saved the beans by use of his wit and guile!

And they all ate fresh garden produce happily ever after...

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