Monday, July 10, 2006

Welcome to our world.

Hello there young baby crockatt! Looking forward to making your aquaintance.

It's at times like these when we turn our thoughts to all the good things in life, all the joys and miracles and all the things we can teach young Finn as he finds his way in this crazy world.

We have to teach him of the kindness of people, of generosity and spirit. We have to let him know that depite all the horrors Finn will see as he grows up that we are basically good and that love will prevail. With one important exception...

When being abused by a 6ft 5in eye-tie defender it is perfectly acceptable to headbutt him in the chest as hard as you possibly can. Yes! Get in there my son! Zizou, c'est magnifique!

(I think I might be alone in my admiration for Zidane's extraordinary act of violence but to me it wasn't the petulant act of a dilettante Rooney but the result of 20 years of abuse, much of it rascist. It was the last act of defiance of an extraordinary career. Not for Zidane the pathetic ignominy of defeat on penalties and a quiet sloping off into the Berlin night. No, he'd had enough and he wasn't going to take it anymore. There's more psychology and drama in this one moment than in any number of world cups.)

Sorry Finn, don't listen to me, I'm a bad person. Listen to your Mum and Dad, they're much nicer.

Once again, welcome to our world.


  1. Zidane's just been named player of the tournament! Vindication!

  2. Also, I reckon if he was a real thug he'd have butted him in the head, not the chest. Zizou, President!

    (Disclaimer: Violence is wrong. Don't do it.)

  3. It was a magnificent header!

    I think there's been a real lack of proportion about it, though. Screw the World Cup, you gotta stand up for your mother. The guy is a hero.

    And let's not forget Cannavaro knocking out Henry within sixty seconds of the start either. Good but not quite in the same league.

    Watch it with the 'eye-tie' stuff, though. You might find yourself getting headbutted by one of your customers.

    And no nipple twisting the cute women customers either. ;)

  4. It's always refreshing when someone changes your perspective on events. Thanks, Adam, you've done that completely when it comes to Zidane's chest butt.

  5. I thought the baby was going to be called Davey ??
    welcome to our world anyway, Finn...though to me you will always be davy crockattxxx

  6. I was trying to think of a few nursery rhymes to sing to little Finn earlier but being yer average 21st century kind of guy I could only remember The Grand Old Duke Of York and even then I fluffed it a couple of times...

    Instead I sang him a few football songs!

    Fulham FC, Oh Mist Rolling in from the Thames etc (To the tune of Mull of Kintyre)

    I am trying hard not to load the poor kid with any heavy parental expectations but if the little guy turns into a Chelsea fan - oooohhhh!

    On a serious note - thanks for all the lovely comments people.

  7. Here's a good rhyme:

    Zeenty peenty, Heathery mithery,
    Bumfy leery, Over Dover,
    Saw the King of Heezle Peezle
    Jumping Oer Jerusalem Dike.
    Black fish, White trout,
    Eery Oury, You're OUT.


  8. Sounds a bit like a rhyme we had at school when trying to choose who was "it" or whatever.

    Never seen it written down so not sure about the spelling but it went a little something like this:

    Ippa Dippa Dation

    My Operation

    How Many People At The Station?

    (Kid says a number from one to ten)

    The one who comes to number (whatever) shall surely not be it...

    (Count round to whatever number and that person is safe - repeat until one unlucky tyke is left with the lurgie)

    A quicker one went simply:

    Ip Dip Sky Blue

    Who's It?

    Not you...