Monday, July 16, 2007

First Finns First

It's great watching Finn discover things for the first time.

We had a barbecue on Saturday and cooked some corn on the cob. (Digression warning!) I couldn't find the fire lighters so I had to use the ancient method of twigs 'n' dried leaves followed by larger twigs and bits of wood to get things started. I am an excellent fire starter though the last year has seen less of my powers. On the one hand I was mostly covered in small baby and didn't want to fill his little lungs with smoke. On the other were anxieties about the energy required to barbecue food for a small family. Surely a plume of black smoke and a pile of charcoal plus a load of flames was not particularly efficient as a way of cooking?...Would I be contributing to the future death of the planet whilst simultaneously bringing a small geezer into the thick of it?

In fact a year on I still felt a little guilty as the dried ivy leaves crinkled and burned. But then I got the sausages on. Mmmm Sausages...

So we had a guilty barbie and Finn tucked into some corn on the cob. (We are growing some sweetcorn in our veg patch. But so far we look like growing two pieces of rather small corn. We also ate some potatoes from our crops in pots this weekend. A better yield this year but still not enough to feed us really. Why do we urban types do it? And get this - the sausages were from a farmer's market. In Peckham! How fu*ked up is that?)

Finn is a bright lad so he was quickly able to hold and eat corn in the correct manner. In fact he is probably a genius. No, I mean really, he is clearly far more intelligent than all the other kids - yeah even yours. My kid Finn is cleverer than your kid. He's going to go to a better school. The post of prime minister is already full - he'll be PM after his premiership football career is over. Jeez. Being a parent is even more ridiculous and exhausting than worrying about global warming and trying to live like a peasant from medieval times.

Alright alright, here comes the point. Have you ever seen a one-year old eat corn on the cob for the first time? It's great. He was actually growling and snarling as he tore into it with his front teeth!

Later, as afternoon turned slowly to evening, I found myself sat beside the still-warm barbecue with a pint of Guinness watching some ants crawling about on our compost heap. I got really into the compost, how it was just sitting there and gently rotting away. Slow, steady, just happening, moment by moment. Then I thought about the gasses it was slowly releasing that were KILLING US ALL. Then I relaxed still further and just thought fu*k it, it's a lovely evening.

Earlier in the day I had re-read Bertrand Russell on Schopenhauer and thought about John Gray and Adam and AC Grayling. Is the glass half-full or half-empty? That was about as deep as I got...

It is hard to know what to make of things. Ants on compost or global warming or anything really. Every time I try to think things through Finn goes and eats sweetcorn or says eeeieeio or falls over into some bushes and it all seems rather pointless.

I suspect the end of the world is not nigh. People are always talking about the end of the world. And it's always just around the corner. I'm pretty confident Finn will find a fact he's such a genius he will probably be responsible for saving all mankind!

In the meantime I'll be booking Adam a ringside seat at the ICA this Thursday when AC Grayling and John Gray go head to head. Should be fun. But not as good as watching the little geezer chasing our cat Henry around the veg patch...


  1. Some of the best bbq professionals use a blow dryer and bits and pieces to start up their coals in no time flat. I kid you not. Blow dryers provide controlled direction and speed of draft. No hyperventilating with the human starter, no whimpy chemical starters.

  2. Ah, the 'environment'.

    And have you noticed how all the reviews for Black Mass, a book written by a very boring middle-aged, middle-class white bloke have all been written by very boring middle-aged, middle-class white blokes generally agreeing with him. (Grayling being an honourable exception)

    Can I just say that boring, middle-aged, middle class white blokes going on about how the world is shit and we're all doomed are very, very boring indeed.

    Young Finn will be fine. The planet will still be as wonderful and exciting when he's a grown up as it is now.

  3. I would like to stick up for boring, middle-aged, middle-class white blokes since I am one myself!

    We are surely, since laughing at Gingers was recently made illegal, the only minority it is still ok to persecute...

    Start thinking of an awkward question for Mr Gray
    - I've booked you a front row seat.