Last night we were selling books at the launch party for Jimmy Carr & Lucy Greeves (' put the apostrophe where it belongs grammar gurus!) new book The Naked Jape.
A swanky underground place with a free bar, full of casually dressed media types - you know the scene. Nobody is wearing shoes - they're Jimmy Choos darling! There were canapes too but since I was wearing green corduroy trousers and a pair of muddy walking boots the staff kept bypassing me with their trays of yummy titbits. What's a man to do? A steady diet of champagne and Japanese lager is a recipe for one thing only. Yup. I did it again and TOTALLY failed to impress the rich and famous...
...First there was the attractive blonde who marched over, dazzled me with her smile and said "Hi, I'm Lucy"
"Hi, I'm Matthew" I said and shook her hand. Then she left.
Lucy? Who the fu*k is Lucy? Maybe she works for Penguin. Amazing the way these people seem to expect you to know who they are I thought to myself. About an hour later it struck me. Oh THAT Lucy, the one who wrote the book I'm selling...DOH.
Then there was the woman who said "Do I really have to buy one of these? Can't I just walk off with one?"
"You could steal a book, but then I'd have to arrest you and beat you up!" says the foot in mouth oaf. It was (Adam later informed me) Shazia Mirza, the rather famous comedian.
As for Jimmy I thought he was a good bloke. He came over and said hello. Later I saw him coming out of the bogs and he said "Alright mate". When I got home (Adam was driving, don't worry - he came and rescued me later) I turned on the telly - and there was Jimmy.
Lifestyles of the rich and famous eh? (Yawn)
In a separate incident the shop was stormed by artists on Sunday. They put art in the windows and spread art bookmarks throughout the shop. If you come in while the exhibition is running (Bookmarked - until 25th November) you will find bookmarks dotted around the shelves like colourful fungus.
As ever, we like to do things a little differently. Rather than a Halloween window we have art. Not a commercial decision - an artistic one.
BTW the "private" view is tonight. Everyone is welcome though. Guess what? There will be a free bar...