Thanks to Raf for drawing my attention to this. How can this not be a spoof? How? There is so much to love / hate / crawl whimpering into an underground bunker about this piece, but may I draw your particular attention to:
"It's just all kinds of filth," said Alton Verm, adding that he had not read "Fahrenheit 451."
He looked through the book and found the following things wrong with the book: discussion of being drunk, smoking cigarettes, violence, "dirty talk," references to the Bible and using God's name in vain.
Alton Verm's request to ban "Fahrenheit 451" came during the 25th annual Banned Books Week. He and Hines said the request to ban "Fahrenheit 451," a book about book burning, during Banned Books Weeks is a coincidence.
and... But no, I've been persuaded. Sorry, must go. I have to burn down half the shop now. After all, "If they can't find a book that uses clean words, they shouldn't have a book at all."