Monday, August 13, 2007


Saturday morning, 11am. I open up. No internet. Unplug, plug, unplug, plug, fiddle, click, nothing. Phone BT, sorry account suspended. Why? Haven't we just paid you a very large sum? Sorry you'll have to talk to accounts. Accounts department opening hours 8-6 (ish) monday to friday. Fat lot of use on saturday.

Monday morning, 10am. Hello, How can I help. Oh, I'm sorry one of our systems just suspended the account for no reason.

(That was the precis version. Both phone calls took upwards of 20 minutes each)

Saturday Afternoon, 3.30pm. I phone one of our wholesalers. Hello, I'm expecting a delivery, was it despatched yesterday when I phoned the order through. No, that one will go out monday. To get saturday delivery you need to order £150 worth. Oh, it would have been nice if someone told me that when I PHONED THROUGH THE ORDER ON FRIDAY AFTERNOON. Sorry.

I swear, how do these companies get so big? If we were as shit as them we'd be out of business by year's end


  1. And the boy Collings has recently been using very similar post titles.

  2. Chris WildAugust 13, 2007

    Every company usually starts with a group of very talented individuals... with every person you employ you dilute the talent pool...

  3. Ummm.. what bookseller doesn't know that wholesalers generally have minimum order requirements for Saturday delivery?

  4. Smugtwat... there is only one wholesaler - Gardners - with such a requirement. Bertrams maintain their £100 minimum. THE has been swallowed by woolies so us indies are left with a grand choice of 2.

    I was taking the piss. You are an anonymous prick. Fuck off.

  5. It's the morning. I've just read that last comment. Oops. Bad language. Sorry. But the sentiment remains the same.

    I truly, absolutely, utterly, completely despise anonymous, chippy commenters on the net.