Friday, August 31, 2007

When Psychic Powers Fail - Try The Telephone...

Psychic powers are a curse. You've all seen the films and read the books that explain exactly why this is the case and why I just can't tell you who is going to win the Booker this year...

My powers were becoming so awesome that even Adam was starting to believe in them. (Imagine the last person on Earth to be convinced of the reality of the psychic realm - that's Adam) Just yesterday I saw a certain regular customer of ours who just happens to be pretty bloody famous walk past the shop. That prompted me to mention a story the certain person told me about himself and his meeting with a certain author. Moments later the certain famous person came in and asked about a book. After he left Adam turned around:

"Wow - did you know he was going to come in!"

Of course I said I'd seen him walk by moments before but the point is Adam thought it was a psychic moment...

But the nature of such phenomena is that they are unreliable. I mean poor old Uri has been trying to prove his powers exist for a long while but whaddayouknow - soon as you try to test them under scientific conditions the powers let you down.

What I'm trying to say is that my psychic plea for a Denis Johnson proof failed. No book in the post. Damn. So I tried a more traditional method and phoned Camilla at Picador who said she was sure she could find a copy, despite the fact a lesser minion had claimed there were none left. Hah!

As soon as I finish the very excellent Beautiful Children by Charles Bock (out next year) I can start on Denis (out sooner!). Oh! If only you could feel the rushes of pleasurable anticipation now coursing through my veins...


  1. do you have voodoo skills too? There's a fellow named Berbatov in North London who really does deserve a week in bed with some mystery affliction.


  2. My brother-in-law is a Spurs fan and he's going to the game on Saturday. Last time we played them (I'm sure you remember!) Martin Jol's job was on the line.

    Will was totally depressed when we met him before the game.

    A few goals from Keane and the Berb soon reversed the situation...

    We need Voodoo and a few other kinds of magic to get a result I feel!